when you’re just having one of those days


(via imperializedearth)


i was listening to a screamo song for fun then i heard all this extra yelling that i thought was part of the song but then i realized it was just my family arguing

(via imperializedearth)


So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.” 

And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.  

(via alienaterr)


which voice is rihanna’s?

(Source: imnotjailbait, via suhh-weet)


if someone “fights like a girl” you should be absolutely terrified of them have ever seen a girl fight they’ll rip your fucking throat out with their hands while the guys are still doing that weird cobra posturing thing for five minutes 

(via our-helenlawson)



a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life


(Source: sofiajonze, via lovepotionnumbernine9)


*punches you in the face*
“It’s a metaphor”

(via zoexrabbids)


o m f g no

(Source: shwagerr, via zoexrabbids)


don’t ever tell a boy he looks good because it makes them crazy and they do things like start youtube channels

(via lovepotionnumbernine9)